Christmas Shopping With a Yokai
by GGMK
Summary: Ushio goes Christmas shopping for Asako, and as usual, Tora tags along. Of course, the monster has no clue what Christmas even is. Of course, this leaves Ushio to answer some seemingly obvious questions... He would almost rather have been attacked by some weird monster. Christmas One-Shot, mild-pairing hints. Bonus Chapter now up, guest starring Krampus.
1. Chapter 1

_It's almost weird that the majority of the fics in this section were written before the new anime came out. I guess the original manga/anime was more popular than I thought..._

 _In case this matters, this fic takes place sometime after Ushio and Tora returned from their trip, but before their encounter with that brat Kirio._

* * *

"Oi, Ushio. What the hell are we doing here?" Ushio grunted, choosing not to answer his annoying partner. The furry demon was perching on top of Ushio's head, as if he was a small pigeon. Fortunately, Tora wasn't very heavy at all. Ushio had never thought to ask why; he just assumed that Tore could shift his weight at will. Or something. Freaking demons…

"You going deaf on me?" Tora leaned down to stare Ushio in the eyes; well, it was more like his eyes were aligned with Ushio's frowning mouth. Ushio sighed through his nose; he hadn't wanted to explain to Tora, but that nosy demon would find out eventually.

"I'm here to buy something for Asako," he mumbled. Tora's toothy grin was as wide as the Cheshire Cat's as he placed a clawed hand behind an ear.

"Care to repeat that, brat? I didn't catch that!" Ushio grit his teeth. He could feel his face grow red, which he hated. Thanks goodness Asako wasn't here to see him now… Instead of repeating his answer, he pointed his spear at Tora, making sure to get his deadly implication across.

"All right, all right," Tora growled, ducking around the spear to hide behind a tinsel-frosted granite pillar. It then finally hit the beast that they were in a location that they had rarely visited.

"What's this place?" Ushio rolled his eyes as Tora began to openly stare at his surroundings with his fanged mouth hanging open, like a tourist caught in the glitzy headlights of a fancy establishment.

"This is the local mall, stupid. You've even been here before, remember?" Miraculously, Tora chose to ignore the insult in favor of the other part of the rebuttal.

"I've been here before? I would have remembered." Tora crossed his arms, daring Ushio to say otherwise. Ushio quickly glanced around to make sure that no one was staring at him as he seemingly talked to thin air.

"Well, I suppose you didn't get a good look, seeing as you were chasing those demons that were after Mayuko." Tora snapped his long fingers as it presumably all came back to him.

"Yeah, yeah, those pesky Gamin. Tch, they were annoying, trying to steal my food. Of course, without them, I never would have gotten to eat a hamburger. Maybe I should thank them!" Tora leaned back his head to let out a bellow of a laugh, drowning out the classic Christmas tunes playing through the speakers. Ushio took the opportunity to dash away towards one of the escalators. What he sought after was on the third floor.

But the thing about Tora was that he was harder to get rid of than a cold, and twice as annoying. Ushio didn't turn around, but he could feel Tora leisurely float behind him, twitching as he took in all the new sights and scents that he hadn't had time to process last time. The predominant scent, in Ushio's opinion, was peppermint.

"…Oi, Ushio. Why did they dress that tree up?" Ushio didn't even have to look in the direction Tora was pointing to know that he was referring to the large Christmas tree that the mall placed in the center of the lobby every year. When he was younger, he had always wanted to climb it. Screw it, he still wanted to, just to show off in front of Asako.

The Christmas tree in the mall always went with a gold color scheme, from the twinkling white lights to the gold ornaments to the cracked bells. The star, obviously, conveniently fit the arrangement.

"It's a Christmas tradition. People bring trees into their houses and cover them in tinsel, and sparkling bells, and glittering stars." Tora suddenly tried to look uninterested, but Ushio had learned to read the demon in the months they had been together.

"Sounds pointless to me. It's not like the tree will be grateful or anything." Ushio suddenly pictured a future where he spent the next few hours explaining Christmas to Tora. It wasn't a pretty thought. In fact, it was a fate to be avoided at all costs.

Ushio finally turned to Tora, who was poking a rare silver ball on the upper part of the tree. "Hey, Tora. I hear there's a store that sells hamburgers around here. You should go find it." Tora's eyes widened, and his mouth watered at the mention of the tasty but cheap in price food. Not that Tora would be doing any paying…

After Tora zoomed away fast enough to leave a cloud of dust behind, Ushio hurried up the next escalator, stopping to catch his breath when he found the entrance to the "Women's Best Friend" store. Ushio would have assumed that it was a jewelry establishment by the name, but it was mainly a clothing shop. It wasn't super pricey, but it also wasn't bargain bin level, so Ushio felt safe shopping there.

There also wasn't the obligatory "greeter" there to welcome him and wish him a good day; that was the quickest way to turn Ushio off from visiting a store. He wanted to purchase something, not make small talk.

The store had a pleasant atmosphere; calm music played on the speakers instead of any pop music crap, and whoever ran the store did a good job of keeping litter and unwanted clothing from cluttering the floor. Even the tiles were shiny enough that Ushio could see his reflection. He also noticed that he was the only male in the whole store, and he was receiving some pretty suspicious looks.

It took a moment for him to realize that they weren't staring at him per se, but at the spear he was holding. Darnnit, why hadn't he left the spear at home? Well, one never knew when a monster could pop up. He'd be hanged before he let a demon take him by surprise again.

Trying to look as innocent as he could, Ushio ambled over to the blouse section. Asako had told him in no uncertain terms that she hated frilly dresses and that she would never forgive him if he got her one. Especially if it had polka dots.

A blouse was the safe option, as long as it wasn't pink and it didn't have any hearts on it. Navy blue would probably be totally fine, though. Shopping for a girl wasn't nearly as hard as Ushio had heard it was.

"Liar." Ushio jumped, causing a few blouses to fall off the rack and drop to the floor. A sales attendant glared at him. Ushio quickly stammered an apology before frowning at an equally peeved-off Tora.

"What the hell, Tora?" Tora bared his fangs as he jabbed at Ushio's chest.

"You told me that there were hamburgers to be found here, brat. It turns out that there aren't any. Now I'm hungry. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't eat whoever owns this store." Ushio couldn't think of any good reasons, so he simply nodded his head towards the spear. Tora growled in frustration.

"Look, I'm almost done here. We'll go home, and I'll fix something, OK?" Tora grumbled under his breath, which was his way of sulking whenever Ushio threatened him with the spear. It had become a comedy routine, as far as Ushio was concerned. He never really had any intention of using it anymore…

A few more minutes of shopping led Ushio to purchase a minty-green blouse, with a pair of red boots incase the first gift didn't go over so well. It was never a bad idea to have a backup plan. It was one of the few useful things his lazy dad had taught him.

As Ushio handed the items to the surly teenager who seemed to want to be anywhere else, Tora poked his shoulder with his very sharp claws. Ushio had to restrain a wince, lest the intern grow suspicious. Quickly grabbing his bags and letting the teen keep the change, Ushio rushed out of the store, deciding to spend the last of his money on a bus ticket.

Fortunately, he was the only person at the bus stop, meaning that he could speak to Tora with no fear of being discovered. As he looked at the demon, he felt a brief stab of jealousy – having a thick fur coat would keep anyone cozy even during the intense December winds. Ushio's own coat didn't seem to do much to block the temperature.

"You'd better have a good reason for poking me," Ushio grumbled. "Or I might just do some poking back." Tora made a nasty face, before pressing on with his earlier question.

"You can buy that girl a gift any day. Why is this Christmas such an important day to give someone a present?" Ushio scratched his head, wishing that someone smarter were around to answer Tora's annoying question. Then again, who knows what his dad would say?

"Well…I guess you could say that it's another Christmas tradition. Sure, I could have got her these things, say, last week, but giving someone something on Christmas is a way of telling that person that you really care about them. It's special." _Also, Christmas discounts come in handy with my small allowance._

Tora slapped Ushio on the back. Hard. "Hoho, so you admit it. You really 'value' Asako, eh? What a sentimental human you are! Hah!" Ushio growled, wanting to strangle the demon with his own tail.

"Oh yeah? Well, what about Mayuko? I bet she'll buy you some extra hamburgers or whatever!" Tora's laughter came screeching to a halt as he pondered the idea. A few rare quiet moments passed as Tora mumbled something under his breath. Finally, apparently done thinking, he turned back to Ushio.

"…Oi. Does this mean I have to get her something too?" Ushio, who had been waiting for this moment, doubled over laughing, only the spear holding him up. Tora stomped on the ground, his eyes now orange slits.

"Since when do you care about human tradition, Tora? Who's the sentimental one now?" Tora roared something or other, and began to chase Ushio around the mall's parking lot. Ushio couldn't help but laugh some more as he jumped over three cars (one of which Tora landed on, leaving a large dent). It felt good to be active; demons had been scarce lately. Perhaps even they celebrated the holiday? Ushio wondered about that.

* * *

The next morning, a tired Ushio crawled out of his bed and slithered down the stairs to the restroom. After his morning routine, he trudged to the kitchen, rubbing the last remnants of sleep from his eyes. He wasn't surprised to find that his dad hadn't left him any breakfast. That useless old man…

Instead, what he did find on the table was a small parcel, wrapped in fancy blue paper with gold markings. Next to it was a small, white paper that had his name written on it in bold cursive. The sender was…Tora? Ushio was suddenly wide awake, surprise shocking him into full alert. Had Tora really purchased him a gift?

Ushio's eyes softened. "Oh, Tora." Maybe that beast wasn't so bad after all. Ushio made a mental note to buy Tora a coupon from his favorite burger place as he tore open the wrapping paper.

Ushio's grin vanished as quickly as it had popped up. It was a rock, with the word "dunce" on it. The small paper crumpled under the power of Ushio's angry fist, and if one were to see him now, they would swear that a fiery aura had engulfed him.

A flock of pigeons resting outside of the house scattered when a loud cry of, "TORRRAAAA!" broke the silent morning air.

* * *

Hopefully this story managed to make you laugh, or at least smile. I know I did while writing this short one-shot.

And of course, Merry Christmas! :)


	2. Bonus Chapter

I had some extra time, so...here's a bonus chapter!

* * *

Ushio slapped both of his own cheeks, psyching himself up. A glance at the calendar confirmed that it was December 24th. For a while, Ushio had been trying to decide if he should give Asako her present on the 24th or 25th, but he didn't want to drag it out. The more the wait lasted, the more nervous he got.

As Ushio tiptoed down the stairs, doing his best not to alert Tora, he was already practicing what he would say to Asako in his head.

 _I didn't have anything better to spend my money on, so here._ A bit too rude. _Baka, I didn't buy this for you or anything!_ Too Tsundere. _Please, Asako, just take this!_ Too desperate.

 _Asako, I think this blouse would look really good on you._ Ushio's face turned beet red. Where had **that** thought come from? There was no way he would ever utter anything like that!

His thoughts broke up when he reached the final step, which creaked under his weight. Ushio mentally cursed; he kept asking his father to fix that last step, but that lazy old coot never did!

Ushio stood stiock still, holding his breath. The last thing he wanted was for Tora to come with him when he gave Asako her Christmas gift. That damn beast would just try to cause trouble and make Ushio look bad.

After a few minutes passed, and no sightings of Tora had occurred, Ushio quickly dashed out the front doors, stopping only to grab his spear (just in case) and a pair of sandals. He would eat breakfast later – maybe Asako would even invite him over for a meal. Considering that her family ran a restaurant, Ushio figured that his chances were pretty good. At least, they were good as long as she liked the blouse.

"Yo." Ushio stumbled and almost fell on his face, before gritting his teeth. The temptation to stab Tora with his spear was at an all time high.

"Were you waiting up for me?" Ushio glared at Tora, who toothily grinned in response.

"Maybe. I didn't want to miss you making a fool of yourself in front of your mate!" Ushio slammed the spear against Tora's head. After a bunch of howling, Tora bared his teeth at the teenage boy.

"First off, she isn't my 'mate', idiot. Second, what makes you think I'd bring you along?" Tora lazily turned around so that he was flying on his back, as if he was floating on water.

"What makes you think you can stop me from coming?" Ushio growled, but weighing his options made him realize that it would take far too much time and effort to try to force Tora to stay home.

"Don't you have some other monsters to hunt down?" Ushio asked, his voice laced with desperation. "Or maybe you could head to Mayuko's house for a burger or something!" Tora scoffed.

"I can do those things later, but this could be a once in a lifetime spectacle!" Ushio twitched. Once in a lifetime?

"What the heck are you implying? That Asako will hate my gift so much that she'll refuse to see me ever again?" Tora smirked.

"You said it, not me." That was it; Ushio decided that he would give Tora the cold shoulder for the rest of the day. No matter what the stupid beast did or said, Ushio wouldn't respond. Hopefully, it would drive Tora crazy.

Instead, it was Ushio who slowly grew annoyed when Tora didn't take the bait. Seriously, how long was that stupid beast going to stay silent? When Ushio turned to the yellow monster to demand some sort of response, he hadn't expected Tora to be staring intently at a cluster of trees a small distance away.

"Tora?" Tora's nose twitched, a sure sign that he smelled _something_ , but the Beast Spear wasn't reacting to anything.

"Thought I smelled something weird," Tora growled, his eyes briefly scanning the area. Finally, he huffed. "Feh! We're wasting time! Let's hurry up so that I can get some hamburger!" Ushio retorted that he would take as long as he pleased, and Tora responded with yelled threats. Various pedestrians stared at Ushio as if he was a raving madman.

Eventually, Ushio managed to reach Asako's house. He hadn't even reached the front porch before he could hear her father.

"Hey Asako, would you mind fetching some extra noodles? They should be out back!" Ushio didn't hear Asako reply, which probably meant that she nodded or something.

 _Well, that saves me the trouble of having to ring the doorbell. I'll just wait here, heh heh_. He rubbed both of his arms as the December wind grew fiercer. He hated the cold sometimes, but when he was in his "Beast State", the weather never bothered him.

It only took a few seconds for Asako to open the door, but to Ushio, it might as well have been ten minutes. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"Ushio? What are you doing here? Don't you know there's going to be a blizzard soon?" As a matter of fact, he hadn't known. Unwilling to admit his ignorance, Ushio shrugged.

"Pfft, I'm not scared of some blizzard. If I can take down a building-sized Yokai, I can handle some snow." Unfortunately, his words came out sounding like, "P-pfft, I'm bnot s-scared of some b-b-blizzard." Asako tried to cover her mouth, but a stifled giggle escaped anyway. Tora didn't even try to hide his guffaw.

"I hate you both," Ushio muttered. Asako's smile vanished as she grabbed Ushio's ear.

"What was that, Ushio?" The poor boy gulped, fearing for the state of his ear. Even though he always enjoyed riling Asako up, sometimes the pain wasn't worth it.

"I, um, was just complimenting your house decorations." It was a total lie, but now that he gave it a better look… Her house was practically bathed in the warm glow given off by the many Christmas lights that criss-crossed the surface. There was even a wreath that proudly hung above the door.

"Hmm, I'll let you off the hook for now," Asako relented, letting go of Ushio's now red ear. She sighed as she wrapped her shimmery green scarf tighter around her neck. "I guess I should ask why you came over here in the first place. Oh, and hello, Tora." She gave Tora a half-wave. He just grunted.

It was now or never. Ushio refused to lose his nerve. Before he could change his mind, he grabbed his present from his backpack and stuffed it into her hands. She blinked at it.

"Merry Christmas." She didn't respond. "I'm trying to say that this present is for you, OK? But if you don't want it…" She slapped his hand away as he reached for it.

"Geez, since you're so insistent, I'll open it. This better not be a prank." Back in the first grade, Ushio had given her a present – only a small mouse had been inside the box. Asako hadn't spoken to him for a whole week.

Asako's fingers had barely touched the bow when a powerful gust of wind snatched the present from her hands. Ushio would have grabbed for it, but he was too focused on making sure that he wasn't sent flying. Was the blizzard already here?

"I have found you, o Naughty Child." A voice, soft and yet unkind, sounded through the hollering wind. Tora growled, and Ushio's spear began to vibrate.

"Show yourself!" Ushio yelled out into the gale. It was obvious that some kind of monster had caused the wind to become increasingly chaotic, most likely to cloak himself.

"Very well." A small section of the storm somehow parted, leaving an area visible. Ushio had seen his share of weird creatures, but this one was its own class of odd. At first glance, it resembled a goat, if a goat stood on its hind legs like a man. Its upper body was well muscled, but also covered in coarse, brown fur. Naturally, it had horns on its head and hooves for feet.

But the single thing that dwarfed the rest in terms of "strange" was that it was wearing a Santa Claus outfit, from the red coat to the famous hat, with a small, white ball at the end. The creature even carried a burlap sack, although Ushio had the feeling that he wouldn't like whatever presents might be inside.

"What the hell is that?" Asako had almost whispered, but Ushio had heard her anyway. Apparently, so had the creature.

"My name? Krampus will do." Krampus tilted his head, as if waiting for some response, but none was given. Ushio decided to consult the expert.

"Tora, what exactly is he?" Tora bared his fangs at Krampus as he responded.

"Never heard of him. He must be a new breed." Krampus snorted, his eyes narrowing at the blow to his ego.

"Seriously? I guess I never caught on in Japan. Well," and Krampus grinned a hideous farce of a smile. "I suppose you can consider me the evil twin brother of Santa Claus." Asako bit her bottom lip.

"I don't see the resemblance." Krampus took a step towards her, and Ushio instinctively stepped in front of her.

"Fine then, call me a negative photo of Santa. He gives good kids presents. I deal with naughty kids." Tora's eyes grew wide.

"I heard about that on the tellyvision! You give the bad kids coal, right?" Then he grinned, and pointed at Ushio. "This kid deserves about a dozen pieces of coal."

"HEY!"

Krampus shook his head. "The whole coal thing is, frankly, an abomination. I don't even know how that started up… No, I don't give bad kids anything. I simply kill them." With no more forewarning, Krampus used his powerful legs to jump in front of Ushio and kick him in the chest.

Ushio felt himself fly in the air, until his back connected painfully with a tree. As he tried to stand up, the snow that had gradually built on the tree came crashing down on him. Angered by the sudden blow, Ushio used his Beast Spear to slash the snow away. Now with long hair flowing down past his waist, Ushio let out an animalistic roar.

"I don't know why you're attacking me, but I'm not going to let this slide!" Ushio zoomed towards Krampus, adrenaline and anger fueling his legs. Krampus sidestepped the spear, before lowering his head and ramming Ushio. Ushio barely managed to twist his body to avoid getting impaled by the twisted, demonic horns.

"You've been running around the country killing demons with your spear. If that isn't naughty, I don't know what is." Krampus grabbed the spear, with Ushio still attached, and tossed it away.

Krampus didn't have time to gloat before he himself was grabbed by an immense claw. "Yeah, it's always fun to see Ushio get smacked around a bit, but I can't have my dinner get too lumpy." Tora slammed Krampus on the snowy ground, face-first.

"You've been pretty naughty as well, but since you're not a child, you're out of my jurisdiction." Krampus' words were a bit slurred from all the snow in his mouth. Tora yawned.

"Yeah, yeah." Then he let his electricity flow down his arm and into Krampus, who twitched like something possessed. When Tora finally lifted his hand, Krampus looked like a piece of charred meat. Tora licked his lips.

"Tora, did you beat him?" Asako had breathlessly run up to Tora. The beast shoved his chest out.

"Of course I did, girl. This Krumpus or whatever was no match for me. That poor brat Ushio got sent flying though, heh!" Tora got cut off when something hit his head.

"What brat, now?" Ushio gave the terrified Tora an evil grin.

"Ushio! You're OK!" Asako ran to Ushio and hugged him. Then they realized what they were doing, and both backed up, blushing.

"I mean…don't make me worry like that again!" Asako crossed her arm and turned away. Ushio rubbed the back of his head as he wondered if he would ever understand her…

"That's enough of that." Ushio jumped in a defensive position upon hearing the words spoken by Krampus.

"I fried you," Tora growled, hunched up as he prepared to leap. Krampus quickly whispered a phrase that sounded German, and a large rumbling followed. It was if ever tree in the area had come to life; the branches swayed back and forth, before beginning to extend. The branches wrapped themselves around Ushio's arms and waist, and one grabbed the spear away from him.

"Ushio!" Some other trees had wrapped Asako up, before raising her high enough that the drop would be fatal. Some others reached up and crushed her present, before dragging it underground.

"Bastard!" Tora flew at Krampus, preparing to slice the demon's eyes out. But before he could reach, Krampus pulled a handful of something out of his burlap sack and blew it into Tora's eyes. Tora howled as he crashed into the ground; he couldn't see or smell anything. He was effectively helpless!

"Well, not that this wasn't fun," Krampus drawled, "but I have a schedule to keep. So many naughty children, so little time." Krampus snapped his fingers, and two thick branches wrapped themselves around Ushio's throat. The constriction caused Ushio to reflexively cry out, but the only sound he could make was a low gasping choke.

 _I definitely don't want to die like this. I didn't even get to see Asako open her present!_ Nevertheless, Ushio began to see spots, and he knew from experience that he would lose consciousness soon. He struggled as hard as he could, more for Asako's sake than his own.

And just when he was about to give up, the branches slackened, and then let go of him all together. He fell to the ground, coughing harshly while simultaneously trying to gasp for air. Asako also fell, on top of him.

"Get off! You're too heavy," Ushio barked moments before realizing his big mistake. His error earned him a slap and a shrill, "And to think I was actually worried about you, idiot!"

Krampus attempted to back away, but Tora, who had recently had his senses returned, pinned him to the ground with a tackle. "But how?" Krampus seemed just as confused as the others. "How did my spells fail?"

"I'm afraid a little intervention was in order." The booming voice caught everyone's attention, and there were a few gasps when their eyes located their savior. It was –

"Santa Claus?" Ushio and Asako shouted at the same time. Tora looked shocked; Ushio had made him watch all the Christmas movies on the tellyvision, but he had been told that Santa was a fable for small children.

Santa let out his famed laugh. "Ho ho ho! In the flesh!" Santa wagged a finger at Krampus, a look of disappointment written on his rose-cheeked face. "Krampus, dear brother, I'm afraid you've made a grave error this day." Krampus spat on the ground.

"What is the meaning of this, Nicholas? You made a vow to never interfere in my business!" He might have said more, but Tora shoved his face into the snow again.

"And that is a vow I have kept," Santa sadly continued. "But you have gone after the wrong child this day. Ushio is not the one." Ushio bristled at being referred to as a child, but he held back from speaking up because of the inherent weirdness of the recent events.

Krampus finally broke free from Tora's grasp. "That can't be right; I never make mistakes. I'll show you!" He reached inside his large burlap sack, and after a few seconds of searching inside, brought out a scroll. When he opened it, miles upon miles of paper dropped down.

"Let's see…nope, nope, nope….oh." Krampus had the good grace to look somewhat sheepish, while Santa had enough willpower not to look smug. "I seem to have mixed Ushio up with some kid named Kirio. My apologies." Krampus snapped his fingers, and in a heartbeat, he was gone, with only the smell of sulfur giving any clue that the creature had ever been there.

Santa sighed, before giving Ushio and Asako an apologetic smile. "I must apologize for my more deviant sibling. I hope he hasn't caused you too much trouble." Asako opened her mouth, but found she was unable to say anything in her awe.

Ushio shrugged. "No more trouble than usual." He puffed his chest out. "Actually, I'm kinda used to this stuff, so no big deal." Santa chuckled.

"Still, if there is anything that I can do to make it up to you, name it." Ushio thought, before remembering the lost present.

"Well, actually." Ushio whispered his request into Santa's ear. The jolly fat man smiled, impressed by the boy's selflessness.

"Of course. And with that, I must be off." The sound of jingle bells heralded the arrival of some flying reindeer pulling a red sleigh. Santa waited until the sleight stopped before jumping in and grabbing the reigns.

"And don't worry, Tora, I haven't forgotten you. Despite all odds, you have been surprisingly good this year." Tora crossed his arms.

"Feh, only so that I can eat stupid Ushio." Santa gave Ushio a knowing wink before the reindeer flew into the cloudy skies. Ushio kept waving until Santa could no longer be seen.

The next morning, Tora found a whole box of microwavable hamburgers under Ushio's Christmas tree, and Asako, to her surprise, found the prettiest green blouse under her tree, along with a pair of ruby colored boots.

"Ushio, you dummy." But Asako was smiling.

* * *

 **Merry Christmas, everyone! :D**


End file.
